


Better to Have Loved

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2007-07-08
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:10:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Hermione is with Ron. They have been together all summer. But when Hermione is Head Girl and Draco is Head Boy. Draco, let us not forget, is still in trouble with the Dark lord. He refuses to come when called. How long can he avoid the darkest wizard of all time?. What Can Happen? Better to Have Loved..   ...





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  
Author's notes: 1  


* * *

  


            A pretty young woman strode down the corridor of Hogwarts. The halls were deserted because the rest of the school was still at the feast. Everyone except for a certain headboy. Hermione had been ordered by the new headmistress, Minerva McGonnagal, and being the excellent student she was, she obeyed. She came to a portrait of  a lion ready to prance on an unexpecting raven, who was ready to plunge its claws into the scales of a green snake, which was ready to strike on a gerbil like creature. Hermione muttered the password  “Unity,”and stepped through the circular portrait hole.

<br><br>

            

            There, sitting on the couch, was the most disgusting creature she had ever seen. If you could even call him that.  Draco Malfoy was sitting in the dark room with the fire flickering and moving the shadows on the walls. He had a piece of paper in his hand and it seemed he was reading it and re reading it, trying to take it in.

“Malfoy, you prick, you almost got me in trouble for not being at the feast, now stop staring at porn and get you ass down there.” The porn comment was of course an assumption. Obviously it had been the wrong one.

“Mudblood.” Draco growled as he stood up. ”Fuck off.” Malfoy stalked into his room and slammed the door. 

Hermione’s eye darted from the door to the piece of paper sitting on the table. The one Draco had left there. She slowly walked over to it. She picked it up and began to read it.

<br><br>

            Dear Mr. Malfoy,         

            We regret to inform you that at 5:19 pm on today the 1st of September,  your  mother, Narcissa Malfoy, was proclaimed - 

<br><br>

 

But before she could read anymore of letter it was whipped out of her hands and soaring towards Malfoy. 

“Stay out of my business mudblood.” He said catching the paper.

“Draco, I’m so-“ But the door to his room had slammed before she could finish saying sorry.

 

The next morning Hermione sat with Ron and Harry in the great hall. When Drao entered the hall Harry and Ron started to make rude remarks about him and Ron made an obscene hand gesture. Hermione laughed but when she saw Draco’s face she stopped.   Draco looked like he had been crying. He looked right at her and she glared at him for looking at her. She thought to herself ‘I still hate him, no matter how sorry I feel for him.’ He put his head down. He felt as if, now that his dad was out of the way, the he could make piece with her. His mother would have never had a problem with it. In fact he had talked to her about it now that his dad was in Azkaban. After last night though, after having to take <i>that</i> in. It seemed impossible. He sulked over to the Slytherin table, but sat far from everyone.

Hermione felt her heart skip a beat as she watched Draco. Why was she feeling like this? She couldn’t feel like this. She wouldn’t allow herself to. She looked at Ron, the boy, man, she had loved since she first saw him. The one who had finally confessed his love for her this summer, the one that had kissed her so passionately. The one who was her first time that night at the burrow. The Ron who had his arm snaked around her right now. She would not hurt him like that. But still she had never felt what she was feeling for Draco for Ron, but yet again she had never felt hate for Ron either. She brushed the thought from her mind.


	2. The Dark Lord

 

 

__

 

The morning of  sixth of September was a beautiful Saturday morning. Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione sat near the lake. Ginny sat comfortably in Harry’s lap as Harry kissed down her neck surely causing a hickey. Ron sat against the tall beech tree, looking at Hermione longingly and suggestively. He attempted to get a look down her shirt but couldn’t without making it obvious. Hermione was studying her Defense Against the Darks Arts Year Seven

“Do you two have to do that?” Ron insisted. Harry and Ginny looked at him.

“Yes,” Ginny and Harry spoke in unison and continued their, for lack of a better phrase, make out session. Ron scoffed and looked again at Hermione who still had her nose to the book.

“Hermione do you have to study?” Ron said, apparently trying to sound suggestive.

“Yes Ronald I do. Now if you can’t keep it in your pants I’ll just leave!” Hermione gathered her books and parchment and put them in her bag.

“Don’t go,” Ron pleaded reaching for Hermione’s and hitting his target.

“Let go Ron!” Hermione stormed back to the castle and to the library.

She slammed down her books on a table which earned her a nasty look from the librarian, Madame Pince. 

            “Sorry,” she said sitting down.

            “Well, Well, Well, if it isn’t Mudblood Granger.”

            "What do you want ferret?"

           Draco grabbed her by the wrist and held on hard, almost drawing blood from digging his nails in. "I thought I told you to never call me that."

Hermione yanked her arm away with great force, causing Draco to stumble back a bit. Hermione touched her wand to her wrist and the marks dissappeared.

            "Anyway," Draco began smirking at the way he had pissed her off, "I came to find you, McGonnagal said something about wanting to talk to us." 

            Hermione shrieked, "How long ago did she tell you _this?"_

            "Um, let's see, third day of classes." Draco said calmly.

             "You iggnorant, stupid, little death eater." She hissed. At the sight of his twsted face after she finished her sentence she wished she could take it back. His face became rather helpless and downtrodden.

             Draco seemed to take this quite hard as he pulled out his wand and began to say "Petrificus Totalus." Hermione though had seen this coming and pointed her wand and Draco's wand zoomed out of his hand and into Hermione's.

"You'll get this back AFTER we speak to Mcgonnagal." She clung tightly to both wands and her books and bag and led Malfoy out of the library. Outside the library Mcgonnagal was coming out of the staff lounge.

"Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger!" McGonnagal sounded quite angry. "I asked to see you 2 days ago."

"Sorry Proffessor," They both muttered, though Draco has a sarcastic and cynical hint in his voice.

"Proffessor..." Draco scowled. "She confiscated my wand."

"Only because you didn't tell me we had to meet with Proffessor."

"Well, maybe I can't talk when I'm around you!"

"Why can't you talk when your around me?" Hermione snarled. This had become a full fledged shouting match.

"I meant _don't want_ to talk to you!"

"Children Please!" McGonnagak boomed.

"I am not a child!" The two spun around to face the Professor now. "Sorry." They muttered to her.

"Now either you listen to me or I'll make you hug and make up." McGonnagal added.

"Make Up?" Draco scoffed, "There's nothing to be made up. And you won't catch me hugging that peice of muggle filth." 

"Mr. Malfoy! That is it. I have had it. You are confined to your dormitory until you learn to work together. You are to eat there, sleep there, and work there. You may only leave for school activites and classes." McGonnagal was steaming like a carrot placed in boling hot water. "And to think. I wanted to talk to you to give you each your own commons." 

Hermione and Draco bickered all the way back to their dormitory where there was a tawny owl waiting with a letter adressed to Draco. 

"Malfoy you prat!" Hermione called as Draco had already slammed the door to his room. "LETTER!"

No answer from Draco.

"It's from a tawnt brown owl," Draco's door flew open almost breaking it of the hinges. "Give it here. ACCIO" Draco called. He spun and reentered his room.

"UGH!" Hermion cried in exasperation. 

\--------------------------------------------------

Draco read the letter once, twice, three times. He muttered something that sounded like "Damnit." under his breath.

_Mr. Malfoy,_

_We are sorry to inform you that contrary to our previous letter, your father's and mother's estate is now in the ownership of one Bellatrix Lestrange. Please excuse this misunderstanding._

_Sincerely,_

_The Department of Murders and Strange Deaths_

_Finneus Copenhagen_

Draco threw the letter into his fire.

"Shit, Shit, Shit, I wanted that!" He felt his arm burn. He slid his sleeve up to reveal a great black skull and snake. The mark had darkened and Draco comprehended what this meant. Draco didn't dare go to _his_ side. Not while he had _these_ thoughts running through his head. The TRUE events _thatI_ night. The feeling that were surpressed inside of him about the mudblood girl. Those feeling even he had not realized completely yet. No, He would not go. After all the only reason he was safe right now was because he was at Hogwarts. If he went. He would surely be murdered. He put his sleeve back down and settled down on his bed to postpone the wrath of _him, **The Drak Lord.**_


	3. Anger, Fright, and Crave

  


“Ahha…” A leering voice said somewhere far from where Draco safely lay in his bed. “So he didn’t show. Well, I guess I figured as much, being the son of that coward.” A chuckle arose from the circle of the robes and masks. “It doesn’t look as though Severus…” elongating the S as to sound like he was hissing. “Won’t be here either. They both shall die, of course,” The snake like man spoke with a slight elation in his voice. Killing pleased him, it kept him alive, it fed his soul. Killing made him immortal. A large green snake slithered up next to him and hissed, “Naigini tells me that-“ but he cut off. “WHAT?!” He yelled though the people around him heard hissing.

“The Potter Boy will pay.”

 

\-----------------------

Many miles away, a boy called Harry Potter sat with his girlfriend comfortably in bed, cradling her in his arms. He began to furl his brow in pain. 

“Harry, are you alright?” Ginny put her hand to his face, checking for fever.

“I’m fine.” He said, the pain had come and gone quickly. “It just hurt.”

“Your scar?” She asked.

“Yah. But briefly, he must have realized that his horcruxes have been destroyed. OW.” The pain had shot back. This time it lasted long and Harry’s mind had flashed to a dark enclosure. He saw the slit eyed wizard speaking in a foreign language to a snake. Harry understood what was being said. 

“How many did he find?”

“I’m not sure how many _he_ found but all of them have been destroyed. Well except one.” The snaked uncurled and straightened proudly. “Except Me.”

Voldemort screamed in anger and kicked a stone which blew to pieces. He pointed his wand at A pudgy man in a cloack. The one with the metal hand. “CRUCIO!” He shouted. He lifted his wand and the man stopped writhing.

 

Harry’s mind came back to Ginny wrapped in his arms. “I Love You Gin.”

“I love you too.” She said awkwardly as his remark had come so suddenly. Harry held her tighter knowing what was to come. He knew that soon he would have to face The Dark Lord. He knew that sooner or later  that he must murder or be murdered. The time was drawing nearer for the horcruxes were gone. All but the snake. He thought that now that Voldemort knew that the horcruxes we’re destroyed he’d protect the snake even more heavily. Ginny was asleep in his arms as he muttered ‘Shit.’

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A few floors down from Harry and Ginny, Draco was asleep in his bed. He looked troubled as Hermione bent over him to wake him up.

“Malfoy… Malfoy…. Wake up you git! It’s time for breakfast. I’m not gonna make anything else today so you can just starve.”

Malfoy groaned. There was a knock at the portrait. It swung open to reveal Minerva McGonnagal. 

“Good Morning Children,” this received a scowled from a annoyed Hermione and a now alert Draco. “I’m here to… to…” She struggled to say this, “lift your punishment. Young Mr. Malfoy was right. There’s no making up to do. But I warn you, anymore of your bickering and arguing there will be severe consequences.” She turned and stepped out of the room. Hermione looked down at draco who was already asleep again. She reached out to shake him again but stopped. His face was beautiful. She had never realized this. His shaggy blonde hair was in disarray around his face. She moved to brush it away when Draco grabbed her arm. Though not as he had before, it was gentle. Draco’s eyes popped open and smirk spread across his face. 

“Is little goody two shoes Granger actually longing to touch the pureblood ferret?”

Hermione pulled her arm away cautiously. “N…No…” She stuttered. Though there was a feeling that wished she hadn’t yanked her arm away. “Why would I want to?”

“Oh Granger… that’s what every good girl says, just before she become entwined with the bad.” He spoke clearly, stressing the word entwined. 

 

“Oh please.” Hermione spun around and walked to the bathroom.  Draco looked after  her watching her hips sway from side to side as she walked. She had a very nice and womanly figure. More so then he had noticed. As she shut the door to the bathroom he thought how amazing she would look naked. The thought hit him quickly and he put it in action before he had time to revolt against his own sex drive.

 

He got undressed and wrapped a towel around his waist, he waltzed into the bathroom where Hermione had her shower running, but had not stepped in yet. She had a towel wrapped around her and was flossing her teeth.

She noticed him in the mirror and clutched her towel to her. “Out.” She shreeched. Though to some extent her mind was telling her, ‘Let it be, Let your towel drop.’

Hermione had had sex with Ron, who happened to have an enormous sex drive but Hermione hadn’t felt sex drive for him. Her eyes were craving to see the maculine body of Draco’s naked. She shook her head as Draco said huskily, “Ahh…. Granger, you don’t want me to jump in the shower with you ?”

Hermione screamed out again but didn’t dare say No. In fact she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to say no. 

He turned around and walked back out of the door saying, “Fine Granger, but we both know you want to…” He smirked and dodged the bar of soap Hermione pelted at him. When he left the room however Hermione sighed and supported herself against the counter.

“These thoughts, this emotion can not be happening. I will NOT fall for Draco Malfoy.” She chuckled at the thought. She began to think to herself, “There is no emotion there,” She stepped into the shower and shut the door, “It’s just a drive. Just a sex drive. Nothing more, and I will not be lowered to the level of cheating on someone who really loves me with the most disgusting, man whore, ferret. No.” She stated in her mind. ‘No.’

Hermione let the warm water run down her body. Not feeling how aroused she was.

She began to question if Ronald really loved her. All he thought about was sex. He always tried to get in her pants when they were together and he had succeeded. Twice. She was drunk the second time though, and the first time he had confessed his love for her, how could she have refused? With a NO. Like now.

Dear God. What had she gotten herself into.


	4. Little Red Dress

**AN: There will be flash back explaining the developed relationships between Herm and Draco. It’ll all be explained and fit together in the end. Think LOST HP style.**         

Hermione opened her eyes and water rushed and dripped past them. It was October and ever since that day when Draco had come into the bathroom she Had not been able to stop thinking about him. He had done that once or twice more but always backed off. There was an incident where they had actually talked like normal people and had laughed about something or other. The bathroom was their own little corner. She shook her head. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around her and leaned against the counter staring at herself in the mirror. She stared into her own eyes and thought hard. ‘I am NOT attracted to Malfoy. I can’t be. I won’t be.’ But just the thought of his platinum hair and washboard stomach made her knees shake. She straightened up and started to get ready. For tonight was the Halloween ball.

            Draco’s forehead was pressed against the pillow in the commons. He thought ‘There is no way I am attracted to her. Absolutely NO WAY in hell.’ The thought of Hermione gave Draco chills and his genitals became much larger then usual.

            Hermione stepped out of the bathroom to see Draco, face first, into a pillow breathing slowly. She had a great urge to just go up and slap him. She wanted to slap him for attracting her and luring him in. But all she succeeded in doing was coughing slightly wich forced Draco to jump slightly and look at her. She looked gorgeous. The bathrobe was tied tightly around her waste. But her wasn’t even looking at the tie. He saw her face. It had no makeup on it and her hair bushed around and over her shoulders accentuating her features. She looked at him and then sent him a glare wich he shot right back and lay back down.

            

            Hermione let herself into her room and started to dress. She slipped on her skin colored tights. She pulled a dress over her head. The dress met and matched every curve on her body and the color was astoundingly pretty on her. It was red with silver lining and a silver decorative strip down the middle. She opened her drawer and pulled out a sparkly red mask and put it on. She pointed her wand at her hair and it instantly straightened and twisted itself into a french bun. She quietly left the common room noticing that Draco was no longer in there. 

            

            In a matter of hours the ball was rolling. Hermione spun on the dance floor with Ron. He leaned in and kissed her. She kissed him back momentarily but then it no longer was Ron she was kissing. She pulled away and muttered “Later.” The song stopped and Ron left to get drinks. Hermione stood on the dance floor alone.

            Draco leaned against the wall. “Fuckin Balls.” He muttered. His eyes drifted around the dance floor. He spotted girl in a lovely red dress. Quite frankly the dress was hard to miss. “I wonder who that is.” He spoke. He drifted over to her and put out his hand. “A dance with the fair princess?”

Hemrione stared at him and was amazed he did not recognize her. She turned around to see Ron who was chatting away with Lavender Brown. She was all over him. She scowled and took Draco’s hand. He whipped her out on the dance floor and put his hand on her waist taking one of her hand in his as they did a kind of mock waltz.

She smiled at him. 

“What are you smiling about?”

“You’re a wonderful dancer.”

“Well when your brought up like me, they send you to dance class. How were you brought up?” Thinking it might give him some clue as to who she was.

“No no. Your just gonna have to figure that one out for yourself.”

She thought to herself, ‘He’ll never figure it out if he hasn’t by now. I could kiss him and he wouldn’t know. I could fufill my needs and still stay a secret. No! Never.”

She broke away, “I’m sorry, I, uh, can’t dance anymore.”

Draco looked confused, “Why?” He took tight hold of her hand. “Tell me who are?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” She tried to break away from him and he pulled her in to him. Their lips grazing each other in a small kiss.  She broke free of him and gave him a look. It was stern but it was longing. She turned and ran. Out of the hall and up the many changing flight of stairs. She turned and ran past the common room and to the room of requirement. A door appeared and she ran inside shutting the door.  The room was set up to relax in. There was a large double bed and A table set for two. A large bottle of firewhiskey sat in the middle of the table. Hermione didn’t usually drink but tonight was just… well she just need it. 

            She took a seat at the table and poured herself a glass and gulped in down in one drink. She threw the glass against the wall and it shattered. She picked the bottle up and wandered over to the bed and sat on it. It was very comfy. She drank from the bottle and thought began to wander in her head.

         _~~~~ flash back ~~~~_

_Hermione was in the bathroom and flossing her teeth when she looked and saw Draco, once again, leaning against the doorframe watching her._

_“Draco, Why do you always watch me?”_

_“It’s a fun habit Hermione.”_

_“Well it’s slightly creepy and stalkerish.” She laughed and walked up to him._

_“Are you finally going drop that towel?” Draco liked to tease her, it was fun. He enjoyed it and so did she. He knew she wouldn’t ever drop the towel. And, he thought to himself, ‘I never wanna see the filthy mudblood naked anyway. No, I don’t mean that, Yes I do. What’s Happened to me?’_

_She put her face very close to his so their lips almost touched._

_“For you. Never.” She smirked suggestively, it was wiped off her face by caution though as she pushed him out of the bathroom, “Out!”_

_~~~~end of flash back ~~~~_

_She took another gulp of_ firewhiskey and flopped backwards on the bed. Just then, the door opened and closed. 

“Whattt?!” She groaned, sitting up, the red sparkles from her dresses falling off.”

“It was you!” Draco shrieked. He spit out of his mouth as if he had tasted something foul.

“Yes, you ferret, it was me! Yes, we kissed. Yes, I knew it was you, and yes I am going out with Ron still! Any other questions?!” Hermione panted taking another swig.

Draco stood in silence looking like he was about to explode.“Got another bottle?”

“On the table.” 

He grabbed it and sat down next to her.

“Why are you sitting next to me?” Hermione said shrewdly.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because we have been getting along for a while now and I didn’t see your name on this bed!”

“Yah, just because we’ve been getting along means nothing!”

“Why shouldn’t it?”

“Because! Your Draco Malfoy. You are worst enemies with my Boyfriend and Best friend. Your you! And, I’m me.” She shook her head tears welling in her eyes. They started to drip down her face.

“Hermione,” He said softly, he brushed tears off her face and she slapped his arm away.

“I don’t want to get into an affair Draco. I really love Ron. I do, I do, I do.” She spoke more to herself then to him, only trying to convince herself.

“You don’t sound very convinced.”

“ Draco, it’s been great these last few months. Our little inside jokes and mock fights. But I can’t do this anymore!” She stood up and walked away from him steaming. She had yelled.

“Why Not?!” He shot at her,

“Because I think I’m falling for you!”  She sunk to her knees and buried her head in her hands.  Weeping at her confession.

Draco couldn’t talk. What was he to do? If he were to choose her, His father would be angry. His father might even kill him. But then again he was in Azkaban. He couldn’t take the torture. The tempting. 

“Hermione, I have fallen for you.”

“My head hurts, I’m gonna sleep here tonight.” She shook her head and stood up and walked over to the bend and pulled back the sheets.

“Your gonna sleep in your dress?”

“Turn around.” She said. The drinking was catching up on her. He turned around and she took off her dress and tights and morphed them into pajama’s, She slipped it back on.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hermione said flatly.

“Good night.” Draco turned to leave.

“Uh,” Hermione stuttered. “Can you stay till I fall asleep?”

“Of course.” Draco walked across the room and sat on the bed as Hermione fell asleep. 


End file.
